A lot of attention is annoying


When I was growing up with my girlfriend, my friend suggested that I open a profile on a dating site. He met there with his wife and their son for 8 years. But I was negative because I do not like to waste time on empty conversations. I want to see and feel a person, to observe his behavior and his gaze. All this helps to find a common contact and to understand whether we will build a joint relationship. But my friend insisted and I agreed. I opened the questionnaire and filled it out only with basic information. I was just too lazy to write all the data and I left it that way. I chose 3 photos that described me in real form - in glasses, overweight. I was a simple guy and wanted to show that I would not hide my identity or any shortcomings.

I had different girls while studying at the university. I did not have a specific type or image of the perfect girl. At university I was not so choosy and my main criterion was fun and pleasure. Now everything has changed and I have changed. I’m looking for not just a young girl, but a girl with goals, hobbies, work, aspirations, my own opinion. I need a personality and not a person who changes under the orders of modern society. I'm not a trendy, super-stylish guy. I wear simple and comfortable clothes, but I understand what it means to go to the theater and how to dress for a date or to the gym. I know a lot of information on different topics because I like to learn new things and sciences. I wanted to find a partner, not just for attitude, but for emotional and mental intimacy.

I found her on the site and we immediately decided to meet. It was cute and even fun. She read a lot and always told various interesting stories. I liked it but she was very assertive. These were easy hints, but I always heard phrases about where we will live and how our living room will look like. It was funny because it was a fantasy. But I did not think to hear it on the first date. This lasted for another 3 months. We attended various events and her hints became clearer. I was silent because I liked her and maybe even I fell in love. But she too rushed our relationship. It seemed to me that I was a guy student who is afraid of relationships. Her persistence has become commonplace for me because we all have flaws.

We were a couple and even met our friends. This was normal until she insisted on the engagement. I thought it was the right decision, but then we need to think about a joint apartment. She lived with her parents and did not work, I worked but rented an apartment with two friends because it was cheaper. Her thoughts about the engagement were clear and I understood that it was necessary either to continue our relationship or to leave everything at the present stage for now.

She accepted that answer, but our relationship got colder. I understood that the girl wanted more, but I could not give her that at that time. Relationships were important to me, but we didn’t have the finances to live together. I suggested that she find a job and then she would help me rent an apartment together. But I did not expect such a reaction - she said that in our relations I should earn money and I should find an apartment. It was getting worse and I decided to end such a relationship. Her perseverance and lack of patience could not continue our relationship.

Our relationship ended but she continued to call me after 2 weeks. She said that she would wait while I earned an apartment, said she wanted to be with me. But I think that both partners should invest in their joint future life. I can’t do more because I was a simple guy with a simple job where I earned average income. She wanted to be with me but that I created all the conditions for this. All my love passed every day. And I stopped answering her calls. Such a story was instructive for me because I do not like greedy and lazy girls. Love is cool, but both partners should do everything possible to preserve it and not use each other.

I visit that dating site again and look for another girl more closely. I do not want to rush and fall in love only with a pretty face and cheerful character. I want to communicate more in order to get to know the person better. I think that such an unpleasant experience will help me to be more attentive.